The end of the story...?

So for those of you that were waiting with baited breath after my last post, to find out if Crush 2.0 did come round and cook for me (and particularly those who didn't follow my tweets that day!) here is the news....

I really had pretty much given up hope on him coming over at all, when suddenly, Monday before last, we were chatting as usual on FB and he says:
'So, when do you want these eggs then?'
Surprised, but never one to miss a trick I suggested the next evening, and he said:
'Not tonight? You might get hungry before then!'
'You're keen', I thought, but didn't type. That was never going to happen as I had a big work day the next day and didn't want to be knackered - evenings with Crush 2.0 never end before midnight no matter what you're doing - and I thought it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to realise I didn't just sit around waiting for him every day (I kind of did, but he didn't need to know that). So, we agreed on the next night. About 4.30 that day though, I got a FB message to say he wouldn't be able to make it as he was helping a friend move, but was I around the next day? Ok, I thought, maybe you are pissing me about, but this seems genunine, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I told him the kids went to bed at 8, but he was welcome to join the chaos at any point, fully expecting to see him well after 8 - Crush 2.0 time, is, as I think I've mentioned usually a good hour after everyone else's.

He knocked on the door at 6.30pm. WTF??? Who are you and what have you done with Crush 2.0? He also didn't have the hat - he always wears a hat - it has a wide brim and I guess it keeps people at bay. Anyway, he just had his bandana thing on instead - damn he looked good. I, on the other hand, looked a complete mess because we'd just got back from DS1's drama class and I hadn't got changed or put any make up on.
'I wasn't expecting you 'til later!' I said,
'What, you thought I'd duck out of seeing the kids?' he said.
'Yes' I thought, but didn't say. Anyway, he brought the eggs and then told me he had a plan of what to cook and proceeded to check what I'd got in the kitchen, made a shopping list and headed off to get supplies.
Again, WTF??
Me, I was expecting the promised omelette - this was definitely more than omelette! Soon as he'd gone I phoned SLOG - the conversation went bacisally 'WTF??? He's here! He's cooking!'. SLOG is quite bored of Crush 2.0 conversations by now and was suitably unimpressed. Still, this was a whole new side to Crush 2.0 - just when I thought it wasn't possible to fancy him more, he goes and does something like this. He really was going all out for first prize in the 'ATOmum's most perfect man ever' competition.

Happy New Yell...

'Twas the night before term time and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even the ever-whinging-nearly-6-year-old who has misbehaved and complained his way through most of the holidays...


As you can tell, I am definitely ready for DS1 to go back to school. I was so looking forward to Christmas and although bits of it were lovely, almost every nice thing we did was marred by him not doing what he was told and complaining incessantly. He surpassed himself on New Year's Eve when, in the middle of playing a tickling game with his brother on the floor, he decided to kick him in the face - and then screamed the house down when I sent him to bed as punishment. "Why? What did I do? I said sorry!!!" He claimed it was an accident, but I was sat two feet from him and watched him do it - you know when you see something happening and you can't quite believe it and it seems to go in slow motion?  I know its all about attention seeking and its tied up with having to go to and from his Dad's, but its so tiring for me and unsettling (and often painful!) for DS2 - and I do think now he's nearly six, he could help himself a bit more. I mean, I give him every chance to talk about how he feels and try to help him find different ways of expressing it, but no matter what I do, he always seems to end up taking it out on either me or DS2, and doesn't seem happy until he's totally ruined a good chunk of our family time together.

DS2 went to the childminders today, so, in theory, DS1 and I could spend some quality time together and get him ready for school. I managed to just about get through giving him a haircut  - I only had to leave the room three times to calm down in the face of his constant refusal to sit still/sit up/stop whinging - and I only threatened death/social services twice, which given the provocation and the fact I had a sharp pair of scissors in my hand I think that was positively restrained!!

The High Street showdown

Wednesday has become blog day it seems - DS2 is now so active all the time (and not doing anything helpful like actually napping for any significant amount of time during the day) that trying to do it when he's here is completely impossible.

So what news? Well, unsurprisingly as Saturday was the first full day the three of us had had at home together for about a month, DS1 decided to spend it yelling about anything he could think of. I was not prepared this time - I think I thought he'd got it all out of his system already, foolish woman that I am, so it took a bit of adjusting, but I did my best to rise to the parenting challenge under extreme provocation.

His opening yell of the day was pretty epic by all accounts, and I'm sure our small town's high street appreciated it at 8.30 in the morning. You see, it was the last day of the free Lego, so despite the fact that it meant getting up early on a Saturday and dragging a coughing and sneezing DS2 with us, I valiantly got them both in the car and headed down to WHSmith. (I will keep trying to do nice things for him and I probably really should stop as it never ends well.) I parked where we could see the shop about 20 yards away, and asked DS1 if he was alright to stay in the car with DS2, as didn't want to get him out in the cold again when I would only be a couple of minutes. DS1 said that was fine. Went into the shop, they hadn't got the free toys out yet so had to get them from upstairs, which took an extra couple of minutes, so total time in the shop 4 minutes tops. As I opened the door of the shop to leave I heard "I NEED SOMEONE TO LOOK AFTER ME!!!!" being screamed full blast from my car, echoing down the high street towards me, for the delight and delectation of passers by. He must have scared the life out of the man at the cash machine just next to the car - who had a look on his face as if to say 'Who? Me?' - at this stage I don't think DS1 was particularly fussy.

380zs, Clever kids, cleaning and a Michael Portillo cameo

Thanks for the memories
Googe Images

Hello again - feels like its been a while, but only a week I think. Perhaps that's not surprising as it's all been a bit crazy - another book festival last weekend, and I've been trying to keep up with DS1's desire for learning that his school aren't even coming close to meeting. What is it with state schools and clever kids? I remember when I was at school in the early 80s and they put me up a year, but I was still cleverer than everyone else and I hated it - used to get really badly bullied just for being different. My class teacher's solution was to stick me in the computer room - which at that time was one 380z, in what can only be described as a cupboard. I seem to remember being given a leaflet which had the basics of BASIC (which apparently stands for Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code - not that there was Google around to tell me that at the time) and then left. (Heaven forbid that a teacher would actually try to teach me anything - or indeed engage in any form of conversation at all.) Mainly, I would sit there getting it to write my name over the whole screen:

10 PRINT "ATO MUM"
20 GO TO 10

Ring any bells anyone?

The missing unfeasibly large spider, a lack of walls and a mystical Co-op

I just re-read my last post and realised that the part about the unfeasibly large spider somehow got deleted. Is there a word limit on these things? How strange. Anyway, the unfeasibly large spider of the previous title was sitting above my television as I wrote that post, almost daring me to do something about it. It was the size of my hand and I really was too tired to do anything about it. I did manage to catch it, or one of its friends and put it out - anything that large living in my house needs to leave, pay rent, or start helping out with the chores. However, its friends/it are now enjoying running across the carpet at night and hiding behind DS2's toys. I feel this is a battle I may not win. I do hate wood spiders though, they are not inconspicous things like lovely little money spiders - they have brown hairy legs and big googly eyes and are HUGE! It's a struggle to get them in the insect catcher without them losing a leg, which seems a bit harsh as they don't deserve to lose a limb just for being unwanted visitors.

In other news, I've worked out DS2s seemingly strange behaviour - its walls! The reason he is so happy to be miles away from me when we're outside is that there are no walls, whereas at home if I go in the other room there are walls between us. He seems to just like to do his thing and know that he can come and get me whenever he wants to. Which I suppose is fair enough. His graze on his nose is almost healed now, although yesterday he fell in a prickly bush, so he now has some scratches/splinters on his hands. Oh well, another week, another injury....

Dancing, yelling, hoarding... and other generalised strangeness

Strange few days. I offer you a choice of:

• Thursday - of the ex and swimming and mum dancing
• Friday - of yelling and baby dancing
• Saturday - of money making schemes and more yelling and the return of the cupboard clearout.

Take your pick, you might not have time to read them all, I do go on a bit...

 

Thursday:

DS1's dad dropped his stuff off on Thursday morning - seemed like he wanted to talk about school playground stuff - not DS1's stuff, his stuff. He said he felt like everyone knew each other and were chatting in the playground, whilst he was just standing there. To put this in context, we never talk about anything personal at all, so this is possibly the most personal discussion we've had in at least 3 years. (I'm now quite strict about boundaries - having not been to begin with, so he just walked all over them - by which I mean me - but that's some old history for another post another time). I suggested, in the usual joky way that we talk to each other (he can't handle serious conversation, I have tried) that he go stand with the other dad's looking mean and moody at the fence. 'But that's just what I don't want to do' he said, and then just sort of hovered, almost as if he was expecting me to do something about it. Was he asking me to introduce him to my friends? Does he still not realise I'm not his mother/that he is a grown-up? It was odd. Fortunately DS2, with his usual impeccable timing took that moment to try to escape from the front door, saving me from a potentially awkward situation. He is a very good boy.