Dreads and the return of sex

So... out with the 42 year old solitary guitarist completely incapable of communicating emotion and in with the 20 year old front man of a thrash metal rock band who just wants to get laid?... yeah, that'll work... maybe....

Would be great if it were that simple, wouldn't it? Anyway, rewind, let me introduce you to Dreads...

So Dreads, is said 20 year old.. with an amazing head of dreads down to his waist.. hence the pseudonym. I first met him back in September at the gig I had after the first night Crush 2.0 stayed over. The gig was actually a competition and we were the only two competitors that night. I really liked him when I met him - not fancied him, just knew he was 'our kind of person' - chatted about him with Crush 2.0 on FB when I got home that night and posted him the video of one of his songs... Crush 2.0 liked him too. I did invite him then to come along to an open mic, but I didn't manage to find him on FB, found his band, but turns out his stage name isn't his real name...  his real name is infinitely more mundane... think I might suggest he goes with Dreads!! He says when he first met me that night I seemed a bit innocent and a bit floaty... I did explain I'd been seriously hungover and had barely slept and was in a place of going 'WTF was that???' after spending my first 24 hrs with Crush 2.0. He thought that was very funny given his impression of my innocence. He also thought I was about 28... get in!!! Good to know that even hungover and half asleep I can still pull off looking 12 years younger than I am!!!

Slog, Og and a belated blog

Wow, that was a long time without blogging - sorry! I entirely missed my one year bloggiversary - my first post was all about the first day of term last year - its a bit rubbish to be so distracted you miss your own birthday isn't it??

The thing is, I appear to have suddenly developed - and I'm not quite sure how to say this - a 'real' life. This is probably a good thing - people have visited my house and everything - it is, however, a bit odd. I have this friend, who checks in on me just to say hi, most days, I have visitors, I have people I confide in, not just a blog I confide in. This hasn't been my life since before I had DS1 pretty much, and I sort of wonder what I've been doing these last 7 years.

If you'd have told me a year ago, when I started this blog, that this would be my life now. That I would be regularly staying out til 1am and beyond, with a bunch of people whose homes I had an open invitation to, who would come round to see me, who would welcome and include my kids in our little gang, and who knew all my songs to sing along to when we went to open mic nights or had parties... well I think I'd probably have told you that I wasn't 20 years old anymore and not to be so bloody ridiculous. To be honest, if you'd have told me that three months ago, I'd have thought you were a little unhinged.


The OMC... kind of... in my head

But despite its seeming implausibility, that is, nonetheless, my life at the moment. Crush 2.0 says that his Open Mic nights aren't about the music, they're about the people... we just happen to play some music along the way. More importantly, he doesn't just say it, he makes it happen... and because he is sooo good at what he does (all gorgeousness and general perfection aside) my life has changed immeasurably.

I think a few weeks ago, I probably interacted more with Crush 2.0 than anyone else in my life, and its probably still a pretty close call, but actually now I'd say I spend at least as much time with the rest of the 'open mic crew' - lets call them OMC, I'm going to be all about the acronyms this post.

Of Crush 2.0: The 'is he interested?' vote - you decide!

Right, readers, I need your opinion - I'm going to give you the Crush 2.0 update, and I need to know in your experience, do these seem like the actions of someone a/interested in me? or b/just being friendly?

It was all so much easier with Crush the First, it was absolutely, definitely a one way thing: I liked him, he barely noticed my existence. You know where you stand with that.
Crush 2.0 is a whole different ball game. He actually interacts with me and takes an interest and has a laugh with me. This is a whole lot less safe than my crush on Crush the First, which I knew was going nowhere. If Crush 2.0 is interested and not just being friendly, then here's a man that I seem to have a lot in common with, I really click with, I have a laugh with and I think is FAF. That, scarily, sounds like a relationship that might, actually, dare I say it.... work? Aaaarrrgghhh!!! (That'll be the sound of me running terrified for the hills)
This is why I need your expertise, if this is going to happen, might as well start facing my fears in advance - they might take a while to get over!

So is it
a/oh yes he really does fancy you ATOmum or
b/get over yourself woman.

Voting comments open at the end of this post....

Here are the facts:

Of a change in Crushes

Regular followers of this blog may have noticed that I haven't mentioned Crush for a while. (New followers can catch up on the story of my obsession here)  I have genuinely been meaning to do an update for a while, but having spent the last 48 hours obsessing over Crush 2.0 - oh yes, there's a new man in town - I feel I should at least complete the Crush the First story.

So,  I think the last time I blogged about Crush, I was asking for suggestions as to what I should do when I saw him at a local gig that me and the school run Mums were going to. Well, he ended up cancelling that gig, so any advice offered - and thanks to those that did - was, sadly, purely academic. I had a short bout of paranoia thinking maybe he was just going to extreme lengths to avoid me, but a quick cyber stalk revealed he did, in fact, have some pretty major career helping commitments elsewhere, so clearly my obsession hadn't disturbed him that much - yet. Anyway, as it turned out, I didn't end up seeing him at all until a couple of weeks ago when I took the kids to a local music day he was playing at. I'd promised DS1 if Crush was ever playing during the day then I'd take them, as they do really like his album, and this looked like it was going to be the only opportunity.

It was a strange day as DS1 was at his dad's that weekend, so it meant him coming back from there a bit early, and somehow or other that ended up turning into another 'two families' afternoon, i.e. me, the ex, the ex's new kid, DS1 and DS2 all hanging out together. We'd had our first 'two families' day back at the end of May when the ex's wife had come along too - we went to an open day at a local farm so there were loads of activities, which I thought would be a good thing for everyone to focus on, instead of it all being completely weird. What I hadn't counted on was running into someone I hadn't seen for about 20 years and having to say this:
"Oh, I'm sorry, I should do some introductions, this is my son, DS1, and this is his dad, and this is his wife and their son, and this is my donor-conceived son, DS2"
Fortunately, my old friend was polite enough not to say "WTF happened to you in the last 20 years?!" - because that really is the only sensible response on hearing that.
You can see why then, I was pretty pleased when the ex said he and new kid had to go before Crush was on. It was bad enough having to do that introduction with an old friend, can't imagine how excruciating it would've been having to do that with Crush.

Of Crush: the reality v. the fantasy

Ladies and Gentleman, I bring you, the latest Crush update! You're welcome, I know you've all been on the edge of your seats...

(or if you have no idea what I'm talking about, catch up here ....or just carry on, it's pretty self-explanatory)

So, Crush finally responded to my FB message (re the dates of his next gig - oh yes, it's all romance here) and asked if I was going to be at a festival he was playing at. Unfortunately, I had to say I was away (damn that booking-holidays-in-advance thing) but thought I'd chance my luck and see if he was going to the next Open Mic night.
No reply.
In fairness to him, I didn't really put it as a question, I just said something like: 'I'll be there, and if I don't see you there I'll see you at the gig'. In my head though, I then decided it would be a sign: 'If he turns up, he's interested, if he doesn't, he's not'. This was clearly bollocks, but my inner fourteen-year-old is alive and well and must be kept entertained.

So, last Thursday evening, there I was, at the pub, for the Open Mic, all prepped to play my designated three songs. These included the song I'd written about Crush, as I was confidently assuming that he wasn't interested and therefore wouldn't be there. This was a pretty safe assumption on other grounds too. After all, he had a gig the next night and a big festival at the weekend. (Not that I check his FB page/Twitter feed every day or anything.)

Happy in this assumption, I was gossiping away with my mates, and yes, you've guessed it, in he walked. I was so shocked I literally stopped speaking mid-sentence - I genuinely thought people only did that in films, but really, I did. My inner fourteen-year-old was going mental with excitement, while the more adult part of me attempted to restrain her.

The worst thing was that I couldn't actually say anything to my friends about why, because he was about two feet away from me - bloody small pubs! So, I made a lame attempt to cover myself and carry on the conversation. I waited until he had sat down, then disappeared to the loos to try to pull myself together.

I don't think he recognised me at first, but I do look quite like my FB picture (no, not the pegs, my RL FB - keep up!), and I was about to get up on stage. That being the case, I decided that he probably would recognise me eventually, and then it would be kind of weird if I hadn't said hello after the whole message thing.

I looked in the loo mirror and said to myself, "FFS ATOmum - it's just saying hello to a guy - how old are you??" Fourteen apparently.

Of illness and my current crush

Well, since my last post I have been mostly being ill - apparently it was tonsillitis, which I don't think I've had before - apparently tonsils don't get taken out anymore so that's no fun. Having said that, I finished the antibiotics today and already I've got a sore throat again, so maybe I'll get to go through it all again - joy! Tonsillitis is just what every single mother needs: not having enough energy to even stand, agonising pain in the throat and not being able to speak - all really practical afflictions when you're on your own with two kids. At least DS1 is at home at the moment from school, so DS2 has got someone to play with. I love watching them play together - they are both now completely Thomas obsessed so they spend most of the day playing with or being trains, which usually involves DS2 saying 'Oh no! Trouble(some) Trucks!' and DS1 saying 'Quick DS2 run' and then they run frantically between the front and back door - all of 10 metres - until whatever crisis it was has been averted. And then they start all over again. It is very sweet and DS2s 'Oh no' and Fat Controller face are hilarious.

I have decided to leave them to it and have spent my convalescence indulging my crush on a local singer-songwriter. It's ages since I had a crush and I do so enjoy them - I love all the ridiculous imaginary conversations you have in your head about how your conversations with them might go. I remember once, years ago, with my then crush, I got to the point of imagining how we would react when our eldest son told us he was gay - brilliant! My brain just seems to head off on these flights of fancy without any rhyme or reason, or me having any seeming control of it at all. I just sort of sit back and watch in amusement.