Of the summer holidays, train tracks and hands off parenting

So, in the midst of all the Crush 2.0 saga apparently we're more than two weeks into the summer holidays - who knew? I feel like I've been floating on another planet for the last month and since I'm not showing any signs of coming down any time soon the children are adjusting to my somewhat lacklustre parenting skills.

Last week, fortunately, DS1 had a break from 'vacant mummy' as he was with his dad for 4 nights, which is the longest he's ever been away. They went on holiday and he had a really good time - even though it was longer than he'd ever been before, it seems it made more sense to him because it wasn't just being away for the sake of being away from us, there was a reason to go. He hasn't stopped talking about it since we got back - he saw steam trains and went to adventure parks and went to the beach - all good healthy stuff.

He was definitely the lucky one - firstly, because he actually had a parent engaging with him on a regular basis for the purposes other than just talking about Crush 2.0, and secondly because he missed the opening round of DS2s ascent into good solid 2 year old behaviour. This involved DS2 spending most of the day saying 'I don't want this' and 'I don't like that' - and then having a full blown tantrum if I didn't follow close behind him when we went to another room/up the stairs. Seriously, if I dare to walk in front, beside or any other place, full on melt down ensues. He is still a delightful kid and it is hard to resist him because when he asks for something he never ever says 'I want', he always says 'Shall we...' which is just tooo cute!! I have to admit though for those four days, he did spend a hell of a lot of time in front of Thomas on the TV while I arsed about on FB and twitter,  pretended to do work, and held imaginary conversations with Crush 2.0 in my head.

We both survived though and Crush 2.0 was a good distraction for me from DS1 being away for so long, which I think would've been pretty painful had I not had something else to concentrate on. I didn't miss him half as much as I could've done. 
DS1 arriving home on Friday at least gave DS2 some quality attention from somewhere and there has been less telly watching and much more train track building since his return. We have got into a nice routine of DS2 poking me awake at about 6.30 until I agree to give him the Thomas App on the phone. Eventually I'll haul myself out of bed and make the strongest cup of tea I can and ignore the pleas of 'Thomas on the television' - at least until the 7.35am episode on Milkshake. Sometime after that DS1 will eventually show his face and the train track building can begin in earnest. Then I can settle down to playing Crush 2.0s CD loudly and musing on/over-analysing my last conversation with him.

The six things life would be too hard without

I was thinking recently - when I wasn't thinking, god I hate this new blogger interface thingy (typing my first post in it and somehow it doesn't feel right) - I digress, back to the point: I was thinking recently that there are several things that I completely rely on to make my life work. Things without which life would be a lot more like wading through treacle than it is. So, I thought I'd share them with you, in no particular order:

1. The I-pod Classic with lego brick attachment

...because you can't take the telly with you! This is my go-anywhere babysitter -  small enough to be unobtrusive to people nearby, this will keep the kids entertained in doctors waiting rooms, hairdressers, the car, anywhere where there's sod all else to do and you run the risk of bored-child-tantrums. You don't want an I-pod touch because, as I've found with my touch screen phone, DS2 is capable of getting out of his Thomas app and on to dialling 999 in the blink of an eye (sorry community support officers - but he did enjoy your visit). The I-pod Classic though, has just big enough a screen for kids to see it, and you can lock it so they can't play with anything. When DS1 was little, we used to struggle with getting ear phones in his little ears, or playing it through the car speakers, but neither was really practical. Then a couple of years ago I discovered this lego brick speaker - problem solved! I love it, it looks kind of weird but the sound is good enough so you can listen/watch to stuff on the go without having to drag around anything else. DS2 has loved watching all the Thomas episodes I downloaded all those years ago for DS. It's perfect for holidays and waiting around anywhere really -  if you don't have one, I genuinely don't know how you ever do anything outside the house. I have also been known to have it in the buggy hood playing crush's latest album, so it works for me too! - strange looks from people though as they assume I have a buggy that is wired for sound....

Of confidence and minding your language

DS2 is amazing. I always think it would be great to be him. He has none of DS1's angst at all, and just seems to be genuinely happy most of the time. Yesterday, at DS1's swimming lesson we were in the waiting room and he saw that the people at the next table had oranges - his current favourite fruit. Without any thought he just walked over there and said "Orange?" I was muttering my apologies and telling DS2 they weren't his oranges etc, when the dad said, 'We've got a spare if he wants it' - and before I knew it DS2 had climbed up on to the chair next to him - waiting to be served! - and then struck up a conversation with him about the other food on the table. God I wish I could do that! I'd just love to be that easy with people. DS1 and I are in knots just opening our mouths to someone that we don't know - I hide it significantly better, but the feeling is the same. Obviously it helps that DS2 is very cute and not yet two years old, but even so, with a far slimmer grasp of the English language than his brother or I, he seems to communicate with much greater ease.

Having said that, his language is just growing exponentially at the moment, in the way toddlers' language does around about this age. I'd forgotten how great it is to listen to and I love his experimenting with phrases. Like at the moment, his favourite thing to do is put "Err... " on the start of everything, in such a grown up way. It sounds as if he's about to say to a waiter "Err... I don't think I ordered the veal". This led to a classic yesterday.  DS1 and I were chatting in the kitchen, and DS2, who had been playing in the living room, popped his head round the door and said "Err... I stinky". We did giggle - although me not so much, as I had to change him.

Of illness and my current crush

Well, since my last post I have been mostly being ill - apparently it was tonsillitis, which I don't think I've had before - apparently tonsils don't get taken out anymore so that's no fun. Having said that, I finished the antibiotics today and already I've got a sore throat again, so maybe I'll get to go through it all again - joy! Tonsillitis is just what every single mother needs: not having enough energy to even stand, agonising pain in the throat and not being able to speak - all really practical afflictions when you're on your own with two kids. At least DS1 is at home at the moment from school, so DS2 has got someone to play with. I love watching them play together - they are both now completely Thomas obsessed so they spend most of the day playing with or being trains, which usually involves DS2 saying 'Oh no! Trouble(some) Trucks!' and DS1 saying 'Quick DS2 run' and then they run frantically between the front and back door - all of 10 metres - until whatever crisis it was has been averted. And then they start all over again. It is very sweet and DS2s 'Oh no' and Fat Controller face are hilarious.

I have decided to leave them to it and have spent my convalescence indulging my crush on a local singer-songwriter. It's ages since I had a crush and I do so enjoy them - I love all the ridiculous imaginary conversations you have in your head about how your conversations with them might go. I remember once, years ago, with my then crush, I got to the point of imagining how we would react when our eldest son told us he was gay - brilliant! My brain just seems to head off on these flights of fancy without any rhyme or reason, or me having any seeming control of it at all. I just sort of sit back and watch in amusement.

Of Time and Thomas...

It’s been a while again hasn’t it? Sorry. I really want to know where parent bloggers find time to blog, and then chat on forums about blogs, and tweet and facebook and everything else that goes along with it. These men/women must have found some secret pocket of time that seems to elude me. How do you do it guys?

I can’t believe that it’s just because I’m a single mum, because I’ve never really believed that having a husband gives you that much more time to yourself. Presumably if you have one, you need to spend time with them, or I suppose ideally, you want to spend time with them. Then if you’re a stay-at-home mum while they go out to work, then you presumably have to do all their washing and cleaning and cooking too, so that’s an extra person on top of your kids to tend to, that I just don’t have to do. So I can’t really believe it’s that.

Maybe it’s the age of my kids – DS2 certainly takes up much more time now than he used to – there’s much less napping going on and much more demands for attention and to be read to/played with. Even when he does play alone, it’s hard to concentrate with the constant singing to himself of “They’re 2, they’re 4, they’re 6, they’re 8…” – or more precisely “Da da, da da, da six, da ay….” and you only know he’s got to the middle break when you hear ‘Emimy ealy know er su’ (‘Emily really knows her stuff’ for the non-Thomas initiated of you).