Of broken computers and online relationships

I hate that Norton goes wrong. It happens very rarely - about once a year - but the momentary panic of thinking: 'Oh my God - a virus could get in and delete my life, and not just my online life, it could get all my passwords and take all my money and everything'. In my head, viruses (viri?) are all-powerful, telepathic things capable of bad magic, and so for me, if Norton isn't working for more than ten seconds, the complete destruction of my life is an entirely plausible scenario. This can make me prone to overreaction in such situations.
So at 8am, this fine Sunday morning, as DS2 was smelling quietly while lining up his cars on the sofa, you can only imagine the language he was exposed to as I logged on sleepily to start the online shop.
Fortunately, DS2's ears did not have to suffer for long, as I quickly remembered the reason that I pay for Norton rather than cheaper alternatives. Off I went to the Norton website and, having dutifully exhausted all their One Click Support suggestions, they connected me instantly to some lovely man in India to be my hero and make everything better again. (I'm assuming he's in India: his name is Biswajit and he's good at computers - so sue me). Biswajit has taken complete control of my computer and will fix it - as I write he is only half way through, but I have full faith in Biswajit - I must do, he pretty much only said 'hello' on live chat, and I said the equivalent of 'Yes, please, have full access to my computer, or life - as I sometimes call it'. I used to do this in real life relationships as a teenager - some habits are fun to revisit.