Pass the wine I'm back...

 

So.... having dabbled in starting various other blogs and panicked about people knowing who I am, I thought:

'Fuck it, lets just go back to the old blog and have somewhere I can swear again'

So here I am people, a year into this shitshow of mismanagement and in-fighting that is covid-era UK and I'm ready to drink! I mean blog!... of course...

Gotta say, I'm kind of hoping that the people I've told about this 'old ' blog in the meantime, don't see it resurrected and then choose to share it with people that it would really piss off, or who could seriously affect my employment prospects. Just don't do it people - well, not unless you're prepared to be my personal bodyguard/therapist/lawyer/benefactor - in which case, share away my lovelies and I'll see you after the consequences for gin and life-long dependency.

Here's the quick life update: In the two and a half years since I last posted I am one failed short relationship down - so neither the frequency of, nor my taste in men has improved. There's been a couple of failed relationship attempts and far too much flirting with the beautiful, grumpy old bastard that is C2BM but we've concluded that until he deals with his shit it just ain't happening. And since he hasn't dealt with his shit in the nine years I've known him, can't see that happening anytime soon. He remains however, my best online and occasional offline friend in all the world - and I can't wait to hug him and nick fags off him whilst claiming I don't really smoke again.

In a return to form, I'm currently fostering an unhealthy crush on another divorced musician with issues - Type? Me? Nooo!!!! 

Seriously, he seems wonderful, we appear to have loads in common, we've chatted loads on messenger for a couple of days - but let's be honest here, my autistic inability to spot a red flag - even when its waved on fire in front of my face - means he could be an utter psycho and I'd never know. Well, not until I'm far too far committed to cope with the transition of ending it. 

Fortunately, that's less of an issue right now, because I've never met him in real life and it's not like you can ask someone for a coffee in the middle of a fucking pandemic - so there's that upside to Boris the Twat and his pals' breath-taking incompetence we've all been searching for. 

The kids are bouncing off the walls, obviously, because whose kids aren't at this stage? Don't believe the happy crafting and sunny walk pics on social media of anyone right now - they've either got a live- in nanny or they're two bottles of Gordons down before breakfast and just doing that shit out of guilt to sober up. The youngest is now back at school but the other two are still home and really starting to struggle. We were fine first lockdown - honestly, we all needed the break and it gave us a bit of a chance to sort through the trauma that Dreads left behind. Haven't seen him in three years and long may that continue - particularly now I've heard the kids' stories of neglect and psychological abuse that only the break and peace of that first lockdown finally gave them the confidence and space to tell me about. Fuck him and all who sail in him. 

So that's all I have to say right now, I'll be back to let off steam real soon, but in the meantime yell at me on twitter so I don't forget. At least now I know I'm autistic I know the lack of remembering stuff without a lot of prompting is executive dysfunction instead of just not giving a shit. Although sometimes it's that too. 

So tell me, how've you been? 

Of my first ever Blogging Award!

I am so excited to have been nominated for a Versatile Blogger award by the fabulous Recipe Junkie - thank you, thank you, thank you! - my first ever blogging award, I shall wear my badge with pride and here it is!

Please do go and check out Recipe Junkie's brilliant blog - although I will warn you, have good food nearby, 'cause just reading those recipes makes my mouth water!

So here are the rules of the award

1. Thank the Blogger who nominated you
2. Include a link to their site
3. Include the award image to your post
4. Include the award image to your blog
5. Give 7 random facts about yourself
6. Nominate 15 other Bloggers for the award, including links to their sites
7. Let those bloggers know they have been nominated

So seven random facts about myself - tough for an anonymous blogger without outing myself, but I'll give it a go:

1. I once trained as a rugby referee

2. I once met the Icelandic president

3. The only word I can say in Flemish is 'a bit'

4. I had never made a lasagne until tonight

5. As a student, I got very drunk at a party and gushed at the then 19 year old Sacha Baron Cohen that I thought he was the best actor of our generation

6. My most ridiculous crush ever was on Jimmy Cagney - he was very dead and had been very married - but I loved him!

7. I was on Songs of Praise when I was 7, playing the recorder


So now to nominate my other Bloggers.  No pressure to do anything with this if you don't want to - just know that I appreciate you all :)

So, firstly, the bloggers whose blogs and tweets keep me laughing and realising I'm not the only one: Ministry of Mum, Trouble Doubled and Mother Venting  - loving your work!

The Vegetarian Experience - my go to place when I need some veggie food inspiration!

The lovely Adele at Circus Queen, who blogs brilliantly and helpfully about breastfeeding - a particular passion of mine

Inky Mum - because if you haven't seen a cartoon blog, you really should - and it's great

Midlife Single Mum - a fellow 'choice' mum, who is definitely worth a read and posts some beautiful images too

That's all for now - I'll have a think about my other 8 and get back to you....

Thanks again Recipe!

Of Time and Thomas...

It’s been a while again hasn’t it? Sorry. I really want to know where parent bloggers find time to blog, and then chat on forums about blogs, and tweet and facebook and everything else that goes along with it. These men/women must have found some secret pocket of time that seems to elude me. How do you do it guys?

I can’t believe that it’s just because I’m a single mum, because I’ve never really believed that having a husband gives you that much more time to yourself. Presumably if you have one, you need to spend time with them, or I suppose ideally, you want to spend time with them. Then if you’re a stay-at-home mum while they go out to work, then you presumably have to do all their washing and cleaning and cooking too, so that’s an extra person on top of your kids to tend to, that I just don’t have to do. So I can’t really believe it’s that.

Maybe it’s the age of my kids – DS2 certainly takes up much more time now than he used to – there’s much less napping going on and much more demands for attention and to be read to/played with. Even when he does play alone, it’s hard to concentrate with the constant singing to himself of “They’re 2, they’re 4, they’re 6, they’re 8…” – or more precisely “Da da, da da, da six, da ay….” and you only know he’s got to the middle break when you hear ‘Emimy ealy know er su’ (‘Emily really knows her stuff’ for the non-Thomas initiated of you).