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Single autistic mother of three awesome autistic kids. These are my anonymous ramblings about life, love, parenting and the rest – emptying my head of the weird, the wonderful and the mundane. Hope you enjoy.

Friday, 26 February 2021

Pass the wine I'm back...

 


So.... having dabbled in starting various other blogs and panicked about people knowing who I am, I thought:
'Fuck it, lets just go back to the old blog and have somewhere I can swear again'
So here I am people, a year into this shitshow of mismanagement and in-fighting that is covid-era UK and I'm ready to drink! I mean blog!... of course...

Gotta say, I'm kind of hoping that the people I've told about this 'old ' blog in the meantime, don't see it resurrected and then choose to share it with people that it would really piss off, or who could seriously affect my employment prospects. Just don't do it people - well, not unless you're prepared to be my personal bodyguard/therapist/lawyer/benefactor - in which case, share away my lovelies and I'll see you after the consequences for gin and life-long dependency.

Here's the quick life update: In the two and a half years since I last posted I am one failed short relationship down - so neither the frequency of, nor my taste in men has improved. There's been a couple of failed relationship attempts and far too much flirting with the beautiful, grumpy old bastard that is C2BM but we've concluded that until he deals with his shit it just ain't happening. And since he hasn't dealt with his shit in the nine years I've known him, can't see that happening anytime soon. He remains however, my best online and occasional offline friend in all the world - and I can't wait to hug him and nick fags off him whilst claiming I don't really smoke again.

In a return to form, I'm currently fostering an unhealthy crush on another divorced musician with issues - Type? Me? Nooo!!!! 

Seriously, he seems wonderful, we appear to have loads in common, we've chatted loads on messenger for a couple of days - but let's be honest here, my autistic inability to spot a red flag - even when its waved on fire in front of my face - means he could be an utter psycho and I'd never know. Well, not until I'm far too far committed to cope with the transition of ending it. 

Fortunately, that's less of an issue right now, because I've never met him in real life and it's not like you can ask someone for a coffee in the middle of a fucking pandemic - so there's that upside to Boris the Twat and his pals' breath-taking incompetence we've all been searching for. 

The kids are bouncing off the walls, obviously, because whose kids aren't at this stage? Don't believe the happy crafting and sunny walk pics on social media of anyone right now - they've either got a live- in nanny or they're two bottles of Gordons down before breakfast and just doing that shit out of guilt to sober up. The youngest is now back at school but the other two are still home and really starting to struggle. We were fine first lockdown - honestly, we all needed the break and it gave us a bit of a chance to sort through the trauma that Dreads left behind. Haven't seen him in three years and long may that continue - particularly now I've heard the kids' stories of neglect and psychological abuse that only the break and peace of that first lockdown finally gave them the confidence and space to tell me about. Fuck him and all who sail in him. 

So that's all I have to say right now, I'll be back to let off steam real soon, but in the meantime yell at me on twitter so I don't forget. At least now I know I'm autistic I know the lack of remembering stuff without a lot of prompting is executive dysfunction instead of just not giving a shit. Although sometimes it's that too. 

So tell me, how've you been? 


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