Nothing and everything

So, I left you with a bit of a cliffhanger on the Crush 2.0 front didn't I? And I wish I had a fitting finale... but I kind of don't.. sorry!

I did carry out my plan, and suggest to the man, that after a second night sleeping in my bed, arms wrapped around me, that perhaps, before we got up, he should at least kiss me. (I didn't ask him the night before, apparently I opted for having a drunken rant about something and then passing out on him - attractive huh?) He laughed, and I didn't say anything.
He joked that I was being pushy again (hardly pushy really given the situation eh?), and that I was "messing with his karma" - which I think is closer to the real reason. Then he gave me a peck on the cheek, and I grabbed him and said "that's not a proper kiss" and he gave me a quick peck on the lips and said "That's all you're getting!"... and off he went downstairs. And still, thinking about it now, I didn't get the sense that he meant 'ever'.... but who knows?

Anyway, I got up, joined him, and we spent what was left of the afternoon chatting, sorting out his business stuff, just as relaxed with each other as we always are, and then I went to pick up the kids. When I got back he was there in the kitchen, cooking tea for all of us. Which was, of course, lovely. The kids love having him around.. and so do I.

What happened after that? Well, before he left, he talked about coming back to stay a couple of days later - he had to be in our town the following day for an appointment so it kind of made sense. In the end he didn't - he had to get back for his dog that was staying with him as his ex was away for the week - but the fact that he planned to come back, and the fact that when I asked him if he was, he gave me a straight answer, those things are kind of new.

Since then, we've been much closer - he's hardly being evasive at all when I speak to him!!  When I saw him at the next Open Mic night we arranged him bringing the music equipment for my birthday party and he said: "I'm probably going to be really drunk, I'm staying at yours that night, right?", and planning that in advance is definitely new! As it turns out, he's not, as he now has to work the next day, and his friend needed a lift. The point is though, that these are now the kind of conversations we can have, and every time I see him, he's always talking about the next time he's going to see me. Okay, there's always some other reason than just wanting to spend time with me - business stuff, or recording tracks for me - but maybe that's how he needs it to be right now...for whatever reason.

So I guess, technically we're still 'just friends', and there is some reason that he's not ready to make it more physical.. yet.. and I'm still not 100% certain what that is - because it genuinely doesn't feel like he doesn't fancy me at all. The important thing for me as that it feels different, it feels like we've moved on.

And then on Sunday after the Open Mic, when everyone had gone, he walked me to my car and hugged me goodbye, and he said - for the first time - not just "Goodbye", but "Lots of love"

What it feels like, for want of a better way of putting it, is that we're on a journey, and we do seem to be moving closer together, and while I still have no real clue where this particular ride is going to take me, I am enjoying it. I get to spend a whole load of time with a gorgeous, fascinating, clever, talented guy who cares about me, makes me laugh, respects me, supports and encourages me, loves it when I talk passionately about the things I care about, gets on great with my kids, and cooks amazingly! That can't be such a bad thing can it?

Love you too Crush 2.0

The end of the story...?

So for those of you that were waiting with baited breath after my last post, to find out if Crush 2.0 did come round and cook for me (and particularly those who didn't follow my tweets that day!) here is the news....

I really had pretty much given up hope on him coming over at all, when suddenly, Monday before last, we were chatting as usual on FB and he says:
'So, when do you want these eggs then?'
Surprised, but never one to miss a trick I suggested the next evening, and he said:
'Not tonight? You might get hungry before then!'
'You're keen', I thought, but didn't type. That was never going to happen as I had a big work day the next day and didn't want to be knackered - evenings with Crush 2.0 never end before midnight no matter what you're doing - and I thought it wouldn't be a bad thing for him to realise I didn't just sit around waiting for him every day (I kind of did, but he didn't need to know that). So, we agreed on the next night. About 4.30 that day though, I got a FB message to say he wouldn't be able to make it as he was helping a friend move, but was I around the next day? Ok, I thought, maybe you are pissing me about, but this seems genunine, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I told him the kids went to bed at 8, but he was welcome to join the chaos at any point, fully expecting to see him well after 8 - Crush 2.0 time, is, as I think I've mentioned usually a good hour after everyone else's.

He knocked on the door at 6.30pm. WTF??? Who are you and what have you done with Crush 2.0? He also didn't have the hat - he always wears a hat - it has a wide brim and I guess it keeps people at bay. Anyway, he just had his bandana thing on instead - damn he looked good. I, on the other hand, looked a complete mess because we'd just got back from DS1's drama class and I hadn't got changed or put any make up on.
'I wasn't expecting you 'til later!' I said,
'What, you thought I'd duck out of seeing the kids?' he said.
'Yes' I thought, but didn't say. Anyway, he brought the eggs and then told me he had a plan of what to cook and proceeded to check what I'd got in the kitchen, made a shopping list and headed off to get supplies.
Again, WTF??
Me, I was expecting the promised omelette - this was definitely more than omelette! Soon as he'd gone I phoned SLOG - the conversation went bacisally 'WTF??? He's here! He's cooking!'. SLOG is quite bored of Crush 2.0 conversations by now and was suitably unimpressed. Still, this was a whole new side to Crush 2.0 - just when I thought it wasn't possible to fancy him more, he goes and does something like this. He really was going all out for first prize in the 'ATOmum's most perfect man ever' competition.

The six things life would be too hard without

I was thinking recently - when I wasn't thinking, god I hate this new blogger interface thingy (typing my first post in it and somehow it doesn't feel right) - I digress, back to the point: I was thinking recently that there are several things that I completely rely on to make my life work. Things without which life would be a lot more like wading through treacle than it is. So, I thought I'd share them with you, in no particular order:

1. The I-pod Classic with lego brick attachment

...because you can't take the telly with you! This is my go-anywhere babysitter -  small enough to be unobtrusive to people nearby, this will keep the kids entertained in doctors waiting rooms, hairdressers, the car, anywhere where there's sod all else to do and you run the risk of bored-child-tantrums. You don't want an I-pod touch because, as I've found with my touch screen phone, DS2 is capable of getting out of his Thomas app and on to dialling 999 in the blink of an eye (sorry community support officers - but he did enjoy your visit). The I-pod Classic though, has just big enough a screen for kids to see it, and you can lock it so they can't play with anything. When DS1 was little, we used to struggle with getting ear phones in his little ears, or playing it through the car speakers, but neither was really practical. Then a couple of years ago I discovered this lego brick speaker - problem solved! I love it, it looks kind of weird but the sound is good enough so you can listen/watch to stuff on the go without having to drag around anything else. DS2 has loved watching all the Thomas episodes I downloaded all those years ago for DS. It's perfect for holidays and waiting around anywhere really -  if you don't have one, I genuinely don't know how you ever do anything outside the house. I have also been known to have it in the buggy hood playing crush's latest album, so it works for me too! - strange looks from people though as they assume I have a buggy that is wired for sound....

Extreme cheat's Kedgeree and a budding food critic

Now I don't normally do recipes, for reasons that are about to become obvious, but I was so proud of this one I thought I'd share. To put this in context, I specialise in meals that are ready in five minutes - largely because I'm so disorganised I often have very hungry children before I've even thought about what to feed them. So, here is my...

Extreme Cheat's Kedgeree

1. Put some frozen peas, frozen sweetcorn and tinned mackerel in a frying pan and fry for a couple of minutes
2. Add microwave egg-fried rice and fry for another minute
3. Add milk and simmer for a couple more minutes with the lid on
4. Eat!

I thought this was pretty tasty for a five minute meal - and had my protein, carbohydrate and vegetable bases covered. DS2 however decided to feed it to this:


He tucked 'Horsey's' head over the edge of the bowl and made lip smacking noises. I tried suggesting that Horsey might like it more if he ate some too, and he did walk horsey away and then take a mouthful, so I was hopeful. After the first taste though, he just pushed it all back out again with his tongue, laughing, and then walked Horsey back to the bowl. (While that might not seem the best recommendation for my recipe, he does, in fairness do this with anything made with rice, so I don't actually know why I bothered in the first place.)

How do you explain to someone pre-verbal that tea is for him and not plastic horsey? Any thoughts?

New term, new blog, same nonsense...

The 1st day of term for DS1 could've started better. He was knackered anyway from only just getting back from a weekend at his Dad's, and he was still on Summer holiday speed for getting up. So I thought, 'I'll be a kind mum, and drive him to school today'.  (And it was chucking it down, so really didn't want to get me and DS2 soaked too). So, chased down DS2 to put his socks, shoes and coat on;  shouted at DS1 to put his brain in gear as he stared blankly at the book bag and PE bag I'd put out for him the night before; and eventually we made it to the car. Children in, bags in, seatbelts on, turned the key and.... nothing, zip, nada.