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Single autistic mother of three awesome autistic kids. These are my anonymous ramblings about life, love, parenting and the rest – emptying my head of the weird, the wonderful and the mundane. Hope you enjoy.

Sunday, 29 April 2012

Of broken computers and online relationships

I hate that Norton goes wrong. It happens very rarely - about once a year - but the momentary panic of thinking: 'Oh my God - a virus could get in and delete my life, and not just my online life, it could get all my passwords and take all my money and everything'. In my head, viruses (viri?) are all-powerful, telepathic things capable of bad magic, and so for me, if Norton isn't working for more than ten seconds, the complete destruction of my life is an entirely plausible scenario. This can make me prone to overreaction in such situations.
So at 8am, this fine Sunday morning, as DS2 was smelling quietly while lining up his cars on the sofa, you can only imagine the language he was exposed to as I logged on sleepily to start the online shop.
Fortunately, DS2's ears did not have to suffer for long, as I quickly remembered the reason that I pay for Norton rather than cheaper alternatives. Off I went to the Norton website and, having dutifully exhausted all their One Click Support suggestions, they connected me instantly to some lovely man in India to be my hero and make everything better again. (I'm assuming he's in India: his name is Biswajit and he's good at computers - so sue me). Biswajit has taken complete control of my computer and will fix it - as I write he is only half way through, but I have full faith in Biswajit - I must do, he pretty much only said 'hello' on live chat, and I said the equivalent of 'Yes, please, have full access to my computer, or life - as I sometimes call it'. I used to do this in real life relationships as a teenager - some habits are fun to revisit.

Tuesday, 24 April 2012

The six things life would be too hard without

I was thinking recently - when I wasn't thinking, god I hate this new blogger interface thingy (typing my first post in it and somehow it doesn't feel right) - I digress, back to the point: I was thinking recently that there are several things that I completely rely on to make my life work. Things without which life would be a lot more like wading through treacle than it is. So, I thought I'd share them with you, in no particular order:

1. The I-pod Classic with lego brick attachment

...because you can't take the telly with you! This is my go-anywhere babysitter -  small enough to be unobtrusive to people nearby, this will keep the kids entertained in doctors waiting rooms, hairdressers, the car, anywhere where there's sod all else to do and you run the risk of bored-child-tantrums. You don't want an I-pod touch because, as I've found with my touch screen phone, DS2 is capable of getting out of his Thomas app and on to dialling 999 in the blink of an eye (sorry community support officers - but he did enjoy your visit). The I-pod Classic though, has just big enough a screen for kids to see it, and you can lock it so they can't play with anything. When DS1 was little, we used to struggle with getting ear phones in his little ears, or playing it through the car speakers, but neither was really practical. Then a couple of years ago I discovered this lego brick speaker - problem solved! I love it, it looks kind of weird but the sound is good enough so you can listen/watch to stuff on the go without having to drag around anything else. DS2 has loved watching all the Thomas episodes I downloaded all those years ago for DS. It's perfect for holidays and waiting around anywhere really -  if you don't have one, I genuinely don't know how you ever do anything outside the house. I have also been known to have it in the buggy hood playing crush's latest album, so it works for me too! - strange looks from people though as they assume I have a buggy that is wired for sound....

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Of confidence and minding your language

DS2 is amazing. I always think it would be great to be him. He has none of DS1's angst at all, and just seems to be genuinely happy most of the time. Yesterday, at DS1's swimming lesson we were in the waiting room and he saw that the people at the next table had oranges - his current favourite fruit. Without any thought he just walked over there and said "Orange?" I was muttering my apologies and telling DS2 they weren't his oranges etc, when the dad said, 'We've got a spare if he wants it' - and before I knew it DS2 had climbed up on to the chair next to him - waiting to be served! - and then struck up a conversation with him about the other food on the table. God I wish I could do that! I'd just love to be that easy with people. DS1 and I are in knots just opening our mouths to someone that we don't know - I hide it significantly better, but the feeling is the same. Obviously it helps that DS2 is very cute and not yet two years old, but even so, with a far slimmer grasp of the English language than his brother or I, he seems to communicate with much greater ease.

Having said that, his language is just growing exponentially at the moment, in the way toddlers' language does around about this age. I'd forgotten how great it is to listen to and I love his experimenting with phrases. Like at the moment, his favourite thing to do is put "Err... " on the start of everything, in such a grown up way. It sounds as if he's about to say to a waiter "Err... I don't think I ordered the veal". This led to a classic yesterday.  DS1 and I were chatting in the kitchen, and DS2, who had been playing in the living room, popped his head round the door and said "Err... I stinky". We did giggle - although me not so much, as I had to change him.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Of illness and my current crush

Well, since my last post I have been mostly being ill - apparently it was tonsillitis, which I don't think I've had before - apparently tonsils don't get taken out anymore so that's no fun. Having said that, I finished the antibiotics today and already I've got a sore throat again, so maybe I'll get to go through it all again - joy! Tonsillitis is just what every single mother needs: not having enough energy to even stand, agonising pain in the throat and not being able to speak - all really practical afflictions when you're on your own with two kids. At least DS1 is at home at the moment from school, so DS2 has got someone to play with. I love watching them play together - they are both now completely Thomas obsessed so they spend most of the day playing with or being trains, which usually involves DS2 saying 'Oh no! Trouble(some) Trucks!' and DS1 saying 'Quick DS2 run' and then they run frantically between the front and back door - all of 10 metres - until whatever crisis it was has been averted. And then they start all over again. It is very sweet and DS2s 'Oh no' and Fat Controller face are hilarious.

I have decided to leave them to it and have spent my convalescence indulging my crush on a local singer-songwriter. It's ages since I had a crush and I do so enjoy them - I love all the ridiculous imaginary conversations you have in your head about how your conversations with them might go. I remember once, years ago, with my then crush, I got to the point of imagining how we would react when our eldest son told us he was gay - brilliant! My brain just seems to head off on these flights of fancy without any rhyme or reason, or me having any seeming control of it at all. I just sort of sit back and watch in amusement.